Here’s a synopsis of my punk sci-fi novel: God is a Mortician – A Brief History of Aliens with Fifteen Eyes, Mortician Deities on Earth, and Extraterrestrial Experimentation with Human Sexuality.
On one of the 15,000 planets with life, vegetations fucked and produced green aliens with fifteen eyes that come to dominate the first universe with high-tech peace-loving motorcycle gangs and joy, too much joy, so the universe collapses into a speck and re-appears with a big bang, this time with sadness and uncertainty added in for balance.
On Earth, aliens from the planet Mortice live on a different time scale and extract large amounts of energy from the semi-intelligent humans through religious devotion. One day our human hero Miguel ends up in heaven after taking early retirement on Mars. He’s brought to satisfy the ceviche addiction of the Mortician Bubba, who is God to humans, but ends up falling in love with the Mortician Shota, who tempts him with the body of a sexy young woman. Struck with an unexpected mental coupling, she gives in to his physical yearning for her, and they hijack a visiting spacecraft and take off exploring the neighborhood in the Milky Way. With the pair finally returning to beautiful Earth, Shota takes off around the planet to reap some wild oats of her own, finally returning to her stay-in-heaven partner Miguel with whom she becomes pregnant. What will that child be like?
A fast-moving drama told as a history lesson to the narrator’s son, there’s sex with Jesus, a strong, white president who happens to be an albino gorilla, Gonaddian overlords, ugly supermodels from the planet Venuptuous, and ridiculous bit players who mirror some of today’s political anti-heroes. A twist at the end brings the story into your own living room, so you better watch out!
Let me know it you’re interested in a copy when it’s published (early 2019)!